Me? You mean me? I can have something? All mine? Something like ummmm to have something means you can feel it, hold it in your hand, touch, taste, understand. Wow. Really, I can have something. Let this sink deep inside; I don't want to waste this one. Oh this is fun. Closing my eyes, all sorts of cool stuff starts drifting by: airline tickets home for the 4th of July. Nice, new tennis shoes. Oh yeah, new sewing machine. Oh...hmmm a lawn mower. Some yellow fiestaware. Oh yeah - it's like a virtual candy-store in my head, the stuff just floating by on a treble clef line of musical notes. A regular commercial in my head. Oh wait, there's a couple more, I need a new printer, and really, yeah, I'd like some surround sound. I bet I could go on and on. Yoga class, membership to the Community Center. What should I pick!
Yeah - I'd like to have all that stuff and then there would just be more stuff that I'd want, tickets home for Christmas, now a weedeater and a rottotiller. Oh yeah - let's not forget about that tumbling composter. I don't want to waste this wish on fleeting stuff that just leads to more fleeting stuff. So what is it that I want, something I can have, all my own? Ahhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah............ Got it.
I want to have the ability to get all that stuff, and let it go when I'm ready. I want to hold within me the power to achieve my own little want list. I thought for a moment this might be self-sufficiency, but that's not quite it. I'm frustrated now with thinking about this and tempted just to stomp my feet and say, "I just want to have everything I want!"
Then, I realize that's not such a stupid thought as it might sound, is it? Is't that really what we all want? We aren't exactly the fisherman's wife, we don't want to be Pope, and we don't want to think that we are greedy and just start expecting "things" to fall from the sky. But these "things" that I want, usually represent some other "Thing" inside of me. I want to have beanty, order and harmony in my world. That means, being able to mow my yard and plant a little garden, see my children, bliss out to music so that I can relax and meditate, stretch, exercise and play. It means being able to sew my little projects. All of those "things" are really about only a very few things, and it's knowing that those things inside me will be nurtured and made manifest in the material world that I want to have. What is that word then, for this Thing that I want to have? Grace? Faith? Balance? Trust? I want to stop wanting that yoga class and just have it. I want the lawnmower to appear because small children are easily lost in my yard the grass is so tall.
OH! I am just frustrated this week and I want something and I don't even know what it is! So maybe that's a good place to start - I want to have an understanding of what it is that I want. There. So. Fine!
If you'd like to join our wishcasting circle, please visit Jamie's page, cast your wishes with us. It's an amazing exercize - you'll love it!
~Lee
Showing posts with label wishcasting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wishcasting. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
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