Chicken or Egg?

I thought, that when making changes, the advice is to start simple, don't change too many things at once. I remember when I was 20, deciding to "eat healthy" and maintain a vegetarian diet. Ha! I changed everything at once, no sugar, no meat, no artificial "stuff." How long did that last? About long enough for me to purchase 3 million dollars worth of vitamins that were later tossed. I had to back up and switch to changing one thing, or at best, a couple of things at a time. I started with white flour, then red meat, you know...a gradual change. In a year I was up to lecithin, bee pollen and chlorophyll shakes!

I imagined that this would work with my morning routine as "one thing" in changing the overall flavor of my life. (Gee, yesterday my soul had a taste and today my life has a flavor, anyone else notice? What's up with that?) So, it was a few minutes after 6 when I woke this morning. Yes, you guessed, I DID turn over to go back to sleep but then I remembered how much I want to change things. I was up and about by 19 after. The first thing I noticed was the lack of written agenda. This shouldn't be that complex! On the other hand, this bleery eyed woman needed DIRECTION! I wanted BIG LETTERS and arrows on the walls.

Now, we can write a very funny post about the shower's anemic trickle, searching first here, then there, then in the laundry basket (by now swearing) for the ONLY pair of black pants I wanted to wear, only to return to "here" (the first place I looked) where I found them. Well, at least I disproved the addage that, "it's always in the last place you look!" And, I could also tell you about squawking birds as I attempted to stretchhhhhhhhhh while chatting. They weren't keen on this chatting business even though I used my very sweetest morning voice. And, something about bird feathers and other bird stuff on the floor when I tried to do The Cat. You don't want to hear about that, do you? Then we move on to hard butter on toast. Ok!

Morning meditation gets positive points. I mean, I figure if there is "Walking Meditation, and "Laughing Meditation." That I can have "Staring at the Sun and Smiling Meditation." That part was really good. All the fumbles and grumbles were worth those moments of just standing and staring at the morning sun.

Still...there was something lacking and I know what it was. The morning routine is dependent on the evening routine. Which comes first? Morning or evening? Evening or morning? Evening must include things like leaving the butter out so it's not hard and cold, and making sure proper pants are where they should be. No, that's not right, they WERE where they should have been; I was just stormy. And, as I wrote this, I had an, "AHA!"

It is my consciousness I want to change.

Routine might work for someone else; and I'm sure I will develop a routine. Actually, I'm betting the someone else didn't draw up an agenda, but rather wrote what had become his routine, what worked for his mornings after he had danced into it and knew the right ingredients for his pace and his heart. So, dare I say it? I'm backing off. The idea was to get up earlier, to greet the day with cheerful, organized consciousness. So tomorrow, I intend to rise at 6, smile for the coming of the day and see where that leads me. I have a loose plan, it includes things like water, food and some meditation. It includes remembering the Creator and asking to be of Service. It includes stretching and getting limber and learning to love the morning.

But, I'll take the butter out just in case. And, I need to see what can be done about that shower!
~Lee

To the Morning

That's one of my favorite Dan Fogelberg songs. "Yes, it's going to be a day, there is really nothing left to say but c'mon morning." I think Dan's sentiments were more lofty than mine; to me, it's always felt like, "well damn, I guess I have to face the day now." And I grudgingly stumbled out of sleep.

I’m lately realizing, perhaps accepting, because I’ve known it for a long time; that I do not like my mornings. Generally, lacking in self-discipline, my habit has been to sleep until the last possible moment, jump up, stumble to the computer, then have a hot bath, drip dry for a minute, throw on something (who knows what) and race out the door. I leave without pulling myself together spiritually or emotionally. I’m not physically ready and I’ve no plan for the day. We won't even discuss what I look like! This, obviously, is not a great way to begin daily creation. And, we can look at those (rotten) habits and see so many pitfalls. I don’t eat, then complain about having no energy, I don’t prepare lunch, then complain about having to eat fast food and I grab a soda to make up the energy deficit. All the while I tell myself and everyone else, that I’m trying to stop drinking soda. Not a plan for success, eh?

I’ve read many different books, essays, blogs and heck, I’m sure I’ve even seen infomercials about how to organize the day, how to setup for success. Why am I still sleeping until the last possible minute and wasting what little time is left sitting at my computer? I’d like to tell you that’s when I read blogs, get myself inspired and tap in to Universal energy but that would be a lie. Truth is, I play freecell! Shameful, huh? I have realized that I play freecell because I’m not yet clear enough to do anything else. So, something has to change because I carry this unclarity with me throughout the day often only coming to life sometime after noon.

Irritated with myself today I put some thought into this dilemma and I recalled having seen mention of Zen Habits over at Desperately Seeking Serenity – so I went there and did I little search. Wow! Okay, I’m not getting up at 4:30 in the morning. Nope, not gonna happen, not now anyway! But I did like reading his morning routine. I was inspired; that routine looks doable once I got past the 4:30 AM part. Then I drilled down further and found some other inspiring suggestions. I married those with my own thoughts and came up with this: The morning sets the tone. Can it be that it’s taken me 50 years to realize that? So, it doesn’t matter so much that I can’t do a whole yoga routine or meditate for an hour, I don't have to do Tai Chi dancing in the front yard ala' Al Huang – but it does matter that I do it…something, anything to put a sweet and centered taste in my heart. Here’s the plan I’ve created – it’s only in my heart right now, but I am determined to see it become reality.

1. 6 AM – wake

I do this already, I just usually glance at the clock and go back to sleep. I tried to fool myself in the past that I was meditating.

2. Drink water

I haven’t been doing this; I’ve often started but it never “sticks”

3. Feed birds

I can chat with them a few minutes while I’m drinking my water and stretching

4. Stretch

Even if it’s just a minute or two, I find that opening the door to the outside encourages me

5. Meditate

Honestly, I don’t have a lot of hope for this, so, I’ve labeled it “meditate” but I have a backup plan – I will find Five Good Things if stillness evades me

6. Shower

I like baths, not showers, but you all know that a bath is relaxing while a shower is invigorating and goodness knows, I need some invigorating!

7. Eat breakfast

I am never going to make eggs, even oatmeal is sometimes too challenging for me in the morning; but I can manage toast and yogurt!

8. Plan my MIT

I lifted this from Zen Habits – MIT - Most Important Things. For me, one personal, one professional and one “other” thing that MUST be done – you know those things, and I don’t mean scrub the toilet either)

9. 7 AM - check email and blogs

This is my reward but I also draw inspriation from your blogs; I believe I'm becoming more centered and creative since I've been reading "you." And, I feel a sense of community and connectedness. Nice reward.

10. Dress

I'll not say much about this - I'm not fond of "trying to look nice" for work but perhaps this will improve as I iron out my mornin routine.

11. Go outside

I find this soothing, cheering and who knows, maybe it will develop into CONSISTENTLY going for a walk

12. 7:40 Leave for work

Of course, I think success here is tied to having a good evening routine. For instance, I did not pack my lunch in this schedule; hopefully I will get inspired enough to do that in the evening. As I look at it, the schedule seems to be balanced with things that should be done, and things I want to do. What are your morning routines? Are you happy with it? I’d love to get some inspiration from your routines.

Five Good Things with a Twist

Hey! I read what's on my reader, don't you? Mostly crafty type blogs, knitting blogs, sewing, recipes - once in awhile I follow a link to something "else" but I get to something else from a knitting/sewing/crafty blog. I like it. So today, here are five blogs I think you might like. A little crafty but some are quite different....I think it's the photos that so capitivate me. I want to get better at photos. And, these blogs inspire me in all sorts of ways. Enjoy!

BirdsNest on the Ground (are those hibiscus? Right? I'm right, aren't they? Just makes me swoon they're so beautiful!)

Be Present...Be Here (always, always inspiring to me, this is a blog that supports and nurtures me, I am so grateful)

My Birds Blog (these photos! oh gosh they're just so ummm perfect?)

Savoring the Details (I love dropping by here for a little pick me up!)

Attitude of Gratitude (His first item to be grateful for today cracked me up so hard I'm still laughing!!)

How cool is this?!?!?!?!?!?

Now, case you don't know, didn't see...that's daughter #6 and well...okay, I'm being considerate...no search engine will find that name here...but is that cool or what? Does he not look like just the gentlest soul? This kid of mine...wow...

More about my Saturday spinning retreat later. Hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend!

Surprise!

This my friends, while it may not look like much to you, is a bonanza, an absolute bonanza I tell you! Pie-in-the-sky, gift from the Goddess, is-this-my-lucky-day-or-what!!

This I found growing, in several stands, at my new house! At first, I couldn’t believe it – it doesn’t, that I know of, grow wild and who would have planted it. Well, I used to plant it. I think it’s beautiful – and so so useful! Some other resident here must also have agreed! Most folks think it has few visual charms. Can it be that someone else, someone who once lived here before me, found value in my miracle plant? Maybe she used it for medicines too? Ahhh, there it is, that connection, that connection to Mama, and Grandma, Aunt Eller and the rest of a long line of women who took care of the sick and injured, knew just where to find what plant for a variety of ailments. Yet, as much as I wish to step off into that topic, I will happily confine myself to a discussion of my wild garden's gift......

Its name, which sounds quite regal to me is, comfrey. From Wikipedia, “Comfrey (Symphytum officinale L.) is a perennial herb of the family Boraginaceae with a black, turnip-like root and large, hairy broad leaves that bears small bell-shaped white, cream, purple or pink flowers. It is native to Europe, growing in damp, grassy places, and is widespread throughout the British Isles on river banks and ditches. Comfrey has long been recognized by both organic gardeners and herbalists for its great usefulness and versatility;…” This explains why, after not having seen a proper stand of comfrey for more than five years, doubting seriously that anyone but me would have planted it, and sure it would not be growing wild; I was uncertain that I might be looking at Borage. But now, after some extra caution, I have ascertained that this is, in fact, my much loved comfrey.

Comfrey, if nothing else, makes a pleasant tea. Though it tastes well enough, it should not be consumed in great quantities given some nasty little rumor started by the FDA that comfrey is a carcinogen (caused by the symphytine). Then, there’s that other rumor about liver toxicity. I actually do sometimes pay attention to such rumors and so, I don’t any longer serve pitchers of iced comfrey, but I do not hesitate to make a nice pot of comfrey tea now and again (toss in some peppermint, chamomile and ahhhhhhhh!). I do this with slightly less frequency than I might have a shot of Jameson’s – tis relaxing, tasty and nasty rumors are not so compelling as to avoid these charms altogether. But, nasty rumors do encourage caution and thus, we do not gulp down copious quantities of iced comfrey any more than we might any other beverage other than water.

But! were I to discover that I have ulcers? Pass the comfrey, please! I’d be right there, washing down daily cups of comfrey tea, iced, or hot. Comfrey makes a nice tonic for a sore throat too. But comfrey’s most prized gift to us comes in healing wounds and even breaks. Comfrey’s traditional name, “knitbone” attests to his healing powers. There is rumored to have been a slow motion film demonstrating comfrey’s miraculous powers to regenerate wounded flesh. In the film, a serving or so of steak has been cut and both pieces set lain in comfrey tea. Miraculously, the cut steak grows knits very nearly back into one, whole piece. Getting onward of years as I am (you’re supposed to laugh and disagree), I cannot now say whether I have seen this film, or have only heard of it and dreamt the rest – for I cannot locate a properly documented source of such film now. Nonetheless, I absolutely believe that these are true healing properties of comfrey. Comfrey contains allantoin, which speeds up cell reproduction. Susun Weed (who I want to be when I grow up) speaks of comfrey’s great powers, along with Juliette de Barclay Levy and of course, the famous Culpepper.

Someday should we meet; I will show you just the tiniest of scars on my ring finger. When we’re really good friends, I shall tell you how this scar came to be beneath my wedding ring but for now, I’ll tell you that it was once a great, long and deep gash and that it should not have healed so nicely, especially since I did actually attempt to stitch it closed myself. Having stitched crooked stitches, I was forced to ask for help (you should have seen the mess I made!). My friend and I soaked my now misshapen finger, (wince, fast!) sort of slid the crooked tissue over and into place, butterflied me up and then soaked me in comfrey tea. You can hardly see the scar now; just enough so that I know it’s there.

Comfrey is great in your compost heap, does wonders laid atop potato trenches/mounds and makes a really nice garden mulch. Also, unlike other plants, comfrey tolerates fresh urine. Okay, that sounds gross to you but…do you have a place where birds, cats or other animals always seem to “go?” Plant a stand of comfrey there!

I make a wonderful salve from comfrey and plantain– I’ll share the recipe sometime; but there are many available on the internet. I add calendula when I have it. Okay! I promised myself just a short entry about the regal comfrey – not a soapbox about self-reliance and herbal healing. Maybe another time for that.


Comfrey is miraculous. Aunt Eller never taught me about comfrey – she taught me horehound, slippery elm, squaw vine, coltsfoot and many others, and I for sure am grateful. But she never showed me comfrey – perhaps because it doesn’t grow wild in the Eastern states. Yet, comfrey is the one herb I would not be without, the one, single herb that I could choose if I could only have one. And here it is! It is growing without aid at my new house. I couldn’t feel luckier!

Wednesday's Five Good Things

• I so love the twisty, curvey road that I get to drive in the mornings. It's exciting, it's not boring, flatline driving like the interestate. I feel connected, I feel that I am someplace. I feel conscious.
• The view of The Mountain is quite spectacular on my winding morning path. I am somplace and The Mountain is also someplace and somehow that place and this place are the same place - or....as above so below. I feel At One.
• A tall and magnificent stand of comfrey that seems to me, to sing to the world. I even imagine it - it's a rich baritone voice, assuring all that wounds, breaks, and all sorts of life's mishaps are easily healed. I am so grateful to know the value stored in her strong and hidden roots. Will you keep reading if I tell you that occasionally the plants talk to me?
• Supportive colleagues reminding me that I do good work - and sometimes it gets noticed but all the time, it is fruitful.
• For a lovely lunch of homegrown lettuce gifted to me in love and a quiet, thoughtful lunch time.

Such a nice day or two I've had. A little spinning, a little sewing, some reading, conversation and some projects complete. My bird cage is finally hung and so now, the adventure of separating two birds who've made one cage home now for better than a month. And then, there's that chair skirt to figure out - does anyone have any idea??? That little skirt could be the reason I didn't get that chair recovered years ago - sewing up pillows is easy enough but I just can't quite figure out that skirt part unless the whole chair comes apart - do you suppose that's how it must be done? But, for some reason, this puzzle isn't aggravating me, it makes me laugh. It's a nice way to be. At one, no struggle. I like it.

Be at peace, it's all good.

~lee

It really is yarn....I told ya!

I've not been completely idle!

I'll confess, I've spent a lot of time just sitting lately. Aside from spinning and trying to get my bearings though, I have managed to be a little bit productive. There's a nice little alcove in my sewing room and I managed to hang shelves there. Unlike all of those wonderful, enticing studios that ya'll photograph, my shelves looked like well, utility shelves after all was said and done. So.....the coffers running at near empty, I scounged around for fabric to curtain off that little storage area. I was lucky enough to be granted entrance to the storage rooms in our sewing department. I knew I needed lots of fabric and there weren't many bolts that had enough left. I kept walking past this pink, over and over I walked past the pink. Not pink! Please, not pink! Eventually I stood, listening...you know, the pink isn't so bad. And, it's kind of, just a little bit funky...not like me at all you know :) I always lean toward, greens, blues, even purples...never pink. Never pink since my youngest were red-heads and the pink, girly colors got left behind. Something about this though just seemed "right." Maybe because it's the only bolt with enough fabric left, sure...but there are no coincidences,eh? So, I scooped up the pink and off I went. Sewing up a curtain isn't exactly the most challenging project in the world you know - and so that was completed quickly. Of course, it took as long to get that rod up as it did to sew! All 5'4" of me balanced on one toe atop a shakey kitchen stool...but there she is. Ummm, those blue boxes on the shelf sort of kill the vibe I think...but....there's time for that, maybe I'll paint them the same deep read in the little circles. I feel a change coming on..and I often notice change in the colors to which I gravitate.

So! Since I'd chosen the bolt with the most fabric left, I myself had plenty left. And, what once looked like this:




Now looks like this:



Of course, there's that ugly skirt left beneath that I must figure out how to work. Even so, it's coming together really nicely and maybe next week sometime, I'll photo the whole room. It's lovely to sit and spin in there, the Western sun slides over my shoulders, and when it gets to be night time, I swear I can hear the peepers - though I'm sure there are none, outside the window. For now, I spin and let the changes take me where they will, trusting the process, trusting that all is perfect and the Universe knows. Soon, I will show you a skein of what will never be socks, but is nonetheless real YARN.

I figured it out as soon as I got alone. I had been trying to "copy" the woman teaching me to spin - usually a great way to begin. I was so disappointed when I left my short lesson; I had not "remembered" as I had hoped that I would. I continued to break the twist after not even a turn of the wheel. So, I sat alone in my sewing room and closed my eyes; remembering. Once I let my body remember, instead of forcing my brain to do the work; it all became clear. You see, I do some things right handed, and many more things left handed. Ahhhhh yes, I spin left-handed. Within minutes the wheel was whirring. Now, it's thread thin in many places, and wool thick in others, but it is yarn and consistency will come. As it is in the world....Let go and let God, don't think too hard, just let go and relax.

And, I'm trying.

~lee

In the Mail

Would you just look at this little cutie?? Lynn, over and After the Dust Settles and Korff Ceramic Originals sent this to me. I can't help but smile as I walk past him each morning to leave for work. He sits nestled in my North kitchen window. I also pass him each evening after my work is done and deposit whatever spare change I've accumulated in various pockets throughout the day. I'm betting there's already enough change in his belly for a right fine Saturday night. Something about the childishness of it just makes my step a little lighter each morning and evening. He needs a name though! Suggestions? I'm leaning toward Pinky...or maybe Wilbur but they're both a little obvious I think.

But I thank you Lynn for this friendly, cheery pause in my day. Hoping all of you are having a cheerful day too!

~Lee

I think I have landed

Whew! I can find my shoes one pair of shoes now - and that's saying alot! Here's a picture for you of my new neighbor....
Nice huh? There are chickens, well, roosters too! I wonder what it says about me that I am surrounded by chickens and goats?

I managed to visit a slightly more distant neighbor who owns an alpaca farm. Oh my those animals are soooooooooooo cute! The owner was kind enough to give me a few review lessons on my spinning wheel and despite not being certain of where to find all the proper clothes and shoes, I have spent the last hour or so attempting to produce something that resembles yarn - with no success. I laughed a lot at myself and kept trying - I know it's just around the corner, I'll figure it out soon enough I think. There's a spinning group that meets just a few miles from here and I will join them as soon as I'm more sure of shoes and keys and things like that.

I did manage to get Terri's book into the mail - I think I even forgot on that fateful Indy 500 day to announce that Terri had won the drawing for The Friday Night Knitting Club.

I'll post more often now, though I'm sure very sporadically for awhile. Maybe this long weekend I can manage to organize shoes, toothbrushes and towels so that I feel more relaxed and can consider postworthy thoughts. Wishing you all good things and looking forward to browsing your newest news. I have missed you. ~Lee