Everybody's Doin' It

I wonder how often my mother heard that phrase? I can't count how many times I heard it. My mother gave answers like, "Good thing I'm not Everybody's Mother." And I, less funny than my own mother, said things like, "I'm not responsible for Everybody; just you." But, the more and more I live in the world, the more I think Somebody's Mother forgot to let them know these phrases because it seems that some things, that Everybody does - Everybody else does too. Strength in numbers, might makes right seem to have, in so many cases, won the day. Know what I mean, Vern?

Some of the things that Everybody's doing seem fine by me - even right that Everybody's doin it. Everybody's eating better - or so it seems to me; everybody's more health conscious; everybody's more conscious about name-calling; everybody's more tolerant of women's rights...or so it sometimes seems, at least to me. I guess it's the 100th Monkey at work and I'm really glad for so many things Everybody does that were harder "back in the day." All my girls played Little League, while girls were not allowed to join up when I was a girl. But there are a couple of things that Everbody's doin' that I'm not so happy about.

So are you ready for my Everybody's doin it jab? It seems to me like almost Everybody's smokin' pot. Except me. Or so it seems. What's up with that? Is it really okay now that some of our heroes have 'fessed up? Now, I don't mean a recreational joint now and again either. I mean, all those Everybody's seem to be smoking pot like some folks smoked cigarettes (except Everybody isn't smoking cigarettes anymore because you can't even have a smoke with your occasional shot at the corner tavern now because Everybody's aware now of the hazards of cigarette smoke and so Everybody isn't smoking, at least in pubic, anymore).

Hello, people. Last time I checked pot-smoking was still illegal. Now, I'm not arguing that it should be. In fact, I can see loads of reasons why it shouldn't be. I'm not making a judgment about the rightness, or the wrongness of pot-smoking. I'm only acknowledging that it's illegal. We seem to take this so lightly. "Lemme smoke a bowl first," seems to be a common phrase. How did this happen? How does it come to be that my apartment can fill up with pot smoke, usually twice daily, pretty often, seven days a week and I know that calling the police would be futile. Does Everybody have a bank account sturdy enough to pay the fines and associated legal costs? Does Everybody have such disregard for their professions, their reputations and their neighbor's comfort? I don't.

Maybe some time I wish I was more like Everybody. I'm told I'm too uptight and I need to relax more. Ummmmm then I could be like Everybody else. But to tell you the truth, sometimes Everybody else doesn't look so pretty.

Maybe if I smoked a bowl.....

Five Good Things

Yesterday morning I had the feeling that nothing could go wrong. The world was fresh and new and washed in innocence. Today, I step from the shower and soft pink outlines the mountains south. I stood for long minutes in the silence of my kitchen, filled with gratitude for the grandeur of the Universe. Once in awhile I am sure that this place is paradise.

• My grandson's face as we left him on his first day of school. He was practically radiant and all around him seemed to be kind and helpful faces.
• What could have been a nearly perilous project at work seems to be going along just dandy and will be finished in less than half the time I anticipated.
• My household is sleeping peacefully - everyone is where they should be.
• In a moment, the day will erupt with life; there is business to be done and all are about attending to it.
• I feel atonement this morning and I am grateful for all that I have learned and the fleeting wisdom that occasionally presents itself . I know that the past has brought me to precisely this moment.

I hope your week is peaceful and filled with clarity.

~Lee

Meme

I am Mary Poppins you know; so coming up with 6 Quirky Things when Amanda, over at Violiceous tagged me was tough! Heck, I even asked my daughter about my quirks and here’s what she said, “You don’t like laundry in the bathroom.” When I gave her a quizzical look she explained, “Mom; the washer and dryer are in the bathroom.”

Here are some quirky things about me and the rules.
1) Link to the person who tagged you2) Mention the rules3) Tell six quirky yet boring, unspectacular details about yourself4) Tag six other bloggers by linking to them5) Go to each person’s blog and leave a comment that lets them know they’ve been tagged
6 Quirky Things about Me

I often wear mis-matched earrings on purpose

I really hate, hate, hate wearing tennis shoes without socks. How do the rest of you do that??

Even in the summer, I make my bed with a gazillion blankets. And! I usually sleep under them, at least start the night out that way no matter how hot it is.

At over 50, I still cry in the dentist’s chair. Even if it’s only a tear or two – every single time.

I am known to exclaim, “Oh! That’s my favorite song!” Probably twenty times a week to twenty different songs. I can’t identify a real favorite when asked.

I only like white sheets on the bed. Colors are beautiful but to sleep on, it needs to be white.

Now of course that I've written the post (sorry that I had to think about it for so long Amanda!) and let it set for several days; I can think of many more quirks. Just do me a favor, okay? Don't ask my family about my quirks.

OH! Who do I want to tag? ummmmm...I have to think about that part. How about this? If you're willing to do the meme would you leave a comment so I can tag you? I know that's backwards - another quirk of mine...I could never be the captain on any team in school because I couldn't choose my players! Oh man now I'm all in a tizzy thinking about having to choose! Leave me a danged comment wouldja?

~Lee

Battleground

This is my house. There are still some renovations going on, and there's not much of a yard yet, but doesn't it look sweet? Doesn't it look peaceful? This house appeared to be a lovely, tranquil house. It's not. My home, of late, has become such a battleground that were it not for the sweetness of grandsons and daughter, I would hate coming home. Hate it.

There is Irate Neighbor, there's Broken Leg Boy, there's yet another tenant living in the back of the property out of the camera's eye. There are missing dishes, purchased and purchased again, there are fighting cats, hostile glances, sharp voices and when those are absent, silence. There are backed-up sump pumps and soaring utilities. The tenants are left to fairly divide the utility costs amongst themselves and of course, each of us feels that no solution is fair. There is the arrival of my daughter and her sons, thought to overload the home's services, resulting in the backed-up sump pump. This, I am quite sure, is not true, but......others see things as they will. Each of us, myself included see through our own lens. My camera lens did not capture Old Indian in the back, and I wonder how much my interior lens fails to capture.

My days are a constant struggle between taking care of myself, and self-righteousness. I wallow in the turmoil of whether I am "right" and whether I am inconsiderate of others. What are a few dime-store plastic glasses, a few dollars in utility costs? Cats fight, misunderstandings arise - how much of that have I created? This night, and during the nights of interior turmoil, others have lost home and loved ones. Others live in chaos and still others did not enjoy the wonderful meal that my family shared this evening. How selfish am I? Have I really done enough to be compassionate and forgiving? Or, have I become a doormat? I rarely can land on one side or the other of that sandy line.

And then, I read something like this in my daily email which sorts itself automatically into a folder that I have labeled, "inspiration."

"A superior being does not render evil for evil. Never harm the wicked or the good or even criminals meeting death. A noble soul is always compassionate, even toward those who enjoy injuring others or who are actually committing cruel deeds--for who is without fault?" ~Ramayana (Reprinted with permission from "The Wisdom of the Hindu Gurus," edited by Timothy Freke, published by Godsfield Press.)

And, I am reminded, the only battleground is inside of me. "...Who is without fault?" Certianly not I. I am humbled, and inspired. Just as the only battleground is inside of me; peace can only be found inside of me. Everyone is exactly where they should be, and everyone is doing exactly what they should be doing. I will return to practice.

Be still and know that I am God.

Thank you Mary Frances.

~Lee

She's Here, She's Here!!!

Ahhh, it is so good to be with your children after a long absence. What is that motherhood thing? What is it that makes us crave the presence of our children; whether or not they are the perfect children we want them to be? Can that be tracked to a hormone? Is it culturally inspired? Or, am I the only one? I can't be.

As I told you before, my daughter is beautiful, funny, hard-working, devoted, passionate and so much more. But it is almost as though none of those things matter, all of her wonderful qualities, and perhaps all of her not-so-wonderful qualities are irrelevant. At just the sight of her, my heart exploded, I felt like I'd had a long, cool drink of the purest water after a long, dry night. I feel like all good things are possible. Then there's this mysterious feeling that I have for my grandsons; they are delicious! They are innocent and pure and I could just wallow in the delight of their presence. Where does that come from? What instinct could account for my attachment to these young boys? Wherever it comes from; it is there and I am reeling in its strong, heady grip.

Now, there have been bumps in the path. There have been short words and hot breath. There has been confusion and chaos without doubt. But even so, it just feels right, even when it's not perfect.

The first night, I was so excited to see them, so high, so jubilant. I forgot the time. The plane, delayed by East Coast hurricane threat, arrived more than two hours late at nearly midnight. The children were wired, and we simply forgot ourselves. Ummm, I taught them to slide the hardwood floors on their socks - it was after 2 AM! Wince. I had no clue what time it was until my irate neighbor banged on the door. Man, was I embarrassed. But, I was so drunk with their presence, so lost in love that I just forgot the hour and the environment. Nothing existed but these precious humans.

I think we've done some better since that first night. I think my drunkness has passed(some anyways). We are getting more accustomed to a proper bedtime and it gets a touch earlier each night. I'm learning to let my daughter parent her children and to hold my tongue. I'm also learning that it's okay for me to grandparent. How different that is! Do you remember saying, "NO!" to your children and the onset of wailing? Well..when mama says "No!" there is indeed, wailing. When malee says,"No!" there is wide-eyed wonder. I can just hear that little brain whirling with, "Ummm what do I do now???" But there is no wailing. And, I get kisses and hugs and smiles. Sure, I also get nasty looks, and stubborn faces too...but it's all just perfect.

Ahh, I could continue long about this new experience. And, I probably will in days to come - or maybe over at MamaleeA. For now, they're here! We've done several touristy things, Snoqualmie Falls (the second touristy thing that all tourists do in Seattle - Pike Place being the first, but we are saving that for a more prosperous weekend), the ferry to an Island and shoving our feet in the warm sand at Alki Beach. Here they are at Snoqualmie. Were I a decent photographer she'd not be standing in front of those gorgeous falls. Eh, I picked the more beautiful subject I think.

Really, it's all good!

~Lee

Eeek!

That’s my bathtub. That’s not my pet spider.

Where does the day go from here??

Is killing spiders really bad luck?

I didn't kill it. I just sent it on vacation. A fine place with a nice swimming pool.

I missed 100!

I noticed it a few days ago. "Oh man, I've completed 99 blog entries!" I made a note to myself that 100 should be something special, meaningful and then I blinked and now I'm at 101. So, I skimmed over the posts in between reading other blogs and I glimpsed an idea. I started off exploring in several posts why I blog. I have shared my To-Do Lists, thanks to Lynn, and I've continued to share "Five Good Things" thanks to Liz, and I'm played around with Attitude of Gratitude and Sacred Life Sunday (which I never really managed to pull off and I find that quite meaningful; I want Sunday to be more than Laundry Day!) And for just a brief moment something came together for me.

What I want to think about today:

• I want to remember today that people are always more important than things
• I want to remember today that I trust my Creator and I believe in the process even when I can't see it
• I will remember today that my thoughts, as much as my actions, bear fruit tomorrow
• I will remember today that it's all good - it really is
• I will walk in the knowing that Five Good Things are really 10,000 good things and that it is not necessary for me to name them all; but to allow them to become part of my thoughts and actions in each fluid moment

I wonder what happens to my To-Do List if I create this list first? Lately, the thought has been introduced to me that my life isn't exactly as pretty as my blog. I fail often to be the person that I am when I blog. Perhaps if I sometimes use this space to consciously remember who I want to be, and the life I wish to live, I can create a balance between who I really am and who I blog to be. My list of "things that bug me" is probably far more realistic than my lists of Five Good Things. It's not that I intend to be dishonest - and I'm not even convinced that I am. But very often, I blog as I wish to be and not so often as I really am. Today, I will look in the mirror, accept all of me and grow into the best parts of me, manifest more fully all that we are created to be. Today I will be the Creator of my life and not merely a respondant to it.

What a long, strange trip it's been. Happy Friday everyone; and fruitful, loving and exciting weekend.

Cheers! ~Lee

Doll

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight.
I will sew tight little stitches
She won’t ever fall apart

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I’ll hold her gently in my palm
She will be birthed in safety and warmth.

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I’ll weep the tears for weeping into her softness
She will be wise and compassionate

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I will sew a delicate smile and soft brown eyes
She will be lovely

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I’ll cradle her while I stitch tiny beads and shiney sequins
She will know her worth

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I’ll sing my soul into hers
She will sing with Creator the joy of life

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
I’ll send her out to the world
A treasure and a gift

I think I’ll make a dollie tonight
And fill my soul

Push 'em back, shove 'em back, wayyyyyyyyyyyy Back!

I have never posted about political events. Maybe we’ll find out why after this first toe-in-the-water post. Let me preface by saying that I did not watch the Democratic Convention speeches. I will find the text of those speeches before hitting “publish” here. I did, however, watch the Republican speeches last evening after being urged to do so. I didn’t listen much until Ms. Palin came to the podium. What an attractive woman. She’s a really fine speaker, she handles herself well; she’s sure no push-over. And for a moment (a short one!) I found myself wishing that I could vote for her. Really. I did. She, of course, gives voice to some of my own concerns. She clearly is devoted to her family. She’s funny, she’s bright. I felt that I LIKED her. Until…she did it. Now, I am told that Obama did it too. We’ll see; I’ll go look for his speech. I sure hope it’s not true. But I saw Sara do it and I’m appalled.

She had to condescend to me. She had to reduce what had begun as a dignified speech to wise cracks and general fun-making. Why did she have to do that? She stooped to the same sort of fun-making, wise cracking that I can hear on any street corner in my old neighborhood. If I wanted wise cracks and fun-making, I can hang out there. She behaved like the cheerleader at a football game rousing her team’s supporters to crush the other team. All she lacked were the pompoms. (But oddly, I kept seeing them on the screen after about her half-way point) .She made fun of Obama the man, and she reduced the concerns of a wide swath of Americans to little more than childish fancy. I felt belittled. I felt patronized; and it was worse because it was a woman doing the patronizing. The concerns of parents, scientists, business-people, and entrepreneurs were dismissed with easy one-liners. It’s not just that she doesn’t agree with us; it’s that we’re dumb, silly, not worthy of attention. We don’t belong at the table. Surely there was no sign of conciliation, no sign of compromise and working together, not a hint of respect for those who dissent. And, I think this is a dangerous thing. Baby, we’re right and we’ll just steam-roll right over those silly idiots who dare to disagree. How does this unite a country? Or a community? Oh yeah, that’s right – community organization is a trivial thing. I forgot.

~Lee.

P.S. If Obama "did it"; I can't find it in the text of his Convention speech. Quite the contrary, he praised his opponent the man, and disagreed with his positions. There is no name-calling, no fun-making. There was respectful dissent.

Five Good Things

Life has been such a mixed bag lately of wonderful, awesome things - and some not so good things. I'm having a playful night, it's nearing autumn, my daughter is arriving, my school quarter is winding down. Life has a delicious rhythm and I'm enjoying the dance. (And Maggie has married; did I mention that?) Five good things seems fun to write this evening - and fun is very much under-rated!

• Fresh, new, white curtains with blue trim (not red!) hanging as a backdrop to mis-matched pieces of blue glass. How beautiful! (and straight)
• Beautiful, dark stain on my re-finished coffee table.
• Soon to be restored vintage high chair for baby Chase. This unbelievable find, matching the Cosco pieces I'd already re-finished, comes through Freecycle. I heart Freecycle - check it out please!
• Splendid mums reminding me that even as winter whispers; flowers bloom.
• Tasty dinner, not cooked by me, and peaceful companionship while dishes are not done by me!

I hope you have five wonderful things; and many, many more!

~Lee

Who Did This?

It couldn't have been me. Nope, no way. It could not have been me, because I've been sewing for more than 27 years now (I had to think about that for a split second as I typed) and I would never, ever, no certainly not, sew curtains that hang a full 3 (count 'em, 3!!) full inches lower on one side than the other. Nah, could not have been me. And, if I were to make such an unbelievable mistake, I'd surely not do it while sewing in red thread, using a zig zag stitch, against a white background in order to accentuate this gross error.

They look all right with the sewing machine desk in front though.




Cheers!

~Lee